“today is the day to follow your heart.” so said my normally dry and pragmatic capricorn horoscope this morning. isn’t that the intention for every day? or shouldn’t it be?
lately i’ve been swimming in a sea of hopes and dreams; desires to do, be and practice different things are the currents moving me. i’m often the dreamy type, fantasizing about change and new beginnings. i tally up new skills in my mind as every day passes and become a more diverse and productive person. unfortunately, my imagination doesn’t often reconcile with the time i have to devote to this new life. that said…..i’ve been learning! last week i celebrated the turning of a new leaf as i took my want to do list, meshed it with my need to do list and prioritized. to name off a couple of the several easy lessons i took away: making healthy meals pays back when, later in the week, i don’t have to worry about spending time in the kitchen, but have delicious meals at my fingertips for dinner or to pack for lunch; it’s amazing how alive and invigorated it makes me feel (for the whole day!) when i make a run the first thing on my agenda. both tasks require effort and planning, but prove so valuable in the benefits. while happy adjustments have had to be made to that schedule this week, i am learning again to incorporate the actions i want to take into a different set of distractions and make life happen the way that i want it to. most importantly, i’m making the choices that i need to feel happy, healthy and on the road down which my heart leads.
i think often about the kind of person i want to be vs. my reality. i am honest enough to recognize that i am easily drawn down a path of negativity that i am not particularly fond of. i also know that i get stuck in my head far more often than i should and that i let it get me in trouble by adding my imagination to the mix. i am not perfect at letting things happen and i dwell far too much on what others may be doing, thinking or saying. i don’t have it all together and, in fact, a large motivation behind this opportunity and space for expression is to dress down my desire to get everything lined up in neat little rows. that just isn’t the way the world works and to try to make it so just ends in frustration and wasted energy.
i imagine this space filled with light, free and adventurous beauty that slowly allows me to let loose my firm grip on the ground and to float a little more effortlessly through life. for me, this is not just about a blog, but it’s a springboard for a life change. happy is a place i want to be and i believe that learning to surrender and to follow my heart is the only direct route there.