Monthly Archives: January 2012

the difference a year makes


“i’m tired of talking on twitter. text me if you want to talk.” it wasn’t meant to sound nearly as harsh as it did, but it was kind of funny as an opener. i’d been looking for someone to shoot on because i had a great new lacrosse stick and i didn’t know anyone willing to suit up for me. coincidentally, though we’ve taken our sticks out to the box a handful of times, kevin’s only stood in net for me once. (my power shot? probably.)

in spite of the gruff nature of our first interaction, 24/7 texting soon ensued and not a week had gone by before we were making plans to get together. he offered me the position of movie buddy. i’d never been an avid movie-goer, but something about the offer made it appealing. as he’s been known to say, “sometimes it’s about the company.” before this had ever happened and long before i’d even seen a photo of him, an affection had been brewing. i was already crushing before i’d even seen a photo of him.

though we’ve tried, we can’t remember the day when we actually met for the first time nor can we be 100% sure of which movie we saw (though we think we figured out that it was the green hornet.) it all came together when he stated simple fact, “i’ll pick you up at three today.” there was no question and no doubt. it was just how it was going to be and i liked that. the anniversary of the utterance of those fateful words will be (has been?) celebrated sometime around now.

when he arrived and i slipped into his car, he hardly looked at me, nor i him. our first real life interaction came when he handed me the t-shirt he’d brought me. (sweet, right?) to the movies we went and by the time we parted, it felt like we’d known each other for years. though it’d still be a few weeks before we started dating officially, i already knew that something particularly special was going on and it wasn’t long before i never knew i could feel like this was a regular statement made to friends anyone who would listen.

looking back to who i was at this time last year, before this amazing and beautiful man walked into my life, i am awestruck. i am completely without words to describe how incredibly blessed i feel to have stumbled across someone so fantastically supportive and so full of love. there was no way to anticipate all that this past year would serve up on our plates, but i can say with certainty that there is no way i’d have survived it all without him by my side. i don’t know what i was doing before kevin walked into my life, but one year later, where i was wilting, i now blossom, where i was dying, i thrive and life is a meadow of opportunity, excitement, anticipation, joy, laughter and respect. i never knew love could be like this, but i am humbled by its power and beauty every single day.



a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do


today, my beloved friend steve lost his mother and the world lost one of the good ones.

to leave every person you touched with such fond memories and wonderful experiences is the sign of a life well lived. when the time comes to collectively mourn her passing, there will be no shortage of stories to be told. here’s mine.

back in the day, when visits to the valley were a regular occurrence, i sat reconnecting with steve’s brother. tim asked me if i was still dating a particular rock star. not certain to whom he was referring, i looked at pauline and hesitantly turned back to tim, “ummmm…which…one???” steve, behind his hand and in a fake whisper hissed (in jest!) “mom, she’s a slut.” this was when she scoffed at the boys, shrugged at me and i can still see and hear her say today, “a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do, right?” right.

we’ll miss you, pauline
rest in peace

sincere condolences to all members of the chapman family and to every heart that felt her reach.
for those of you who didn’t, i’m sorry as well.

a day off


a day of doing nothing. i haven’t done that in ages. sure, i talk about taking it easy, but that usually ends up meaning nothing more than staying home and, let me tell you, there is plenty to be done around here. because of the time we spend out of the house, i’m stuck letting things slide in it. there are always dishes to be washed, laundry to be done, things to be put away and those (and a long list of other deadlines to meet, demands to address, meetings to prep) are the things that creep into any small gaps that i label time off. not today. on friday, i wrote about my need to prioritize sleep and that includes rest in general. today was a giant leap in the right direction. after slipping into bed just after 1am, i was found wandering the apartment in search of water and to the audience of a couple of chirping cats before eight. normally, i’d lace up and head out the door, but it took all that i had to resist that urge and to crawl back into bed instead. not sure how long i’d be able to stand the idle state, i aspired to read for as long as i could force myself. surprisingly, sleep returned on and off for the duration of the morning. it was after noon by the time we got out of bed! long before that, i’d already declared sunday strike day. not a thing related to any form of work would be done or even considered until at least monday morning. (i even pondered whether blogging fits into my day off non-schedule, but couldn’t bear to spoil my eighty-nine day streak. besides, it’s not work.)

so, yeah, we were lazy today. so lazy. the extent of our efforts went into getting dressed and picking up lunch from the chronic tacos that just opened in new westminster. (as an aside, if you haven’t yet, get there!) movies on the couch filled what was left of the day (as suspected, kev hated annie hall) and knitting was as strenuous a task as i took on.


yesterday, for the second time this month, we took a little road trip down to everett to see kevin’s cousin and his washington stealth host their second home game of the season. i was a little hesitant to be on the road with my folks for hours, but it all turned out really well and we had a great time. unfortunately, it didn’t work out the same for dean and crew. i’m not going to lie to you, it was a little hard to watch.

i’ve never seen kevin as excited to see a player as he was to see brodie, even banging on the glass to get the attention of his (not so) little protégé

the chocolate covered strawberries always look so good, but i’ve still never tried them

the game was really nothing to laugh at – thankfully we had my dad there for comic relief

like the guy has never seen a smartphone before

while my mom was mesmerized by paul rabil and took his postcard home, my dad found bomber the star of the night (he got a postcard, too)


and, in other news, my hair experimentation waded me into new territory for our road trip. when i asked kevin, “how’s this hairdo?” he replied, “it’s very princess leia.” true story. braids and buns. for the sake of a twitter follower ( 😛 ), i had to share a glimpse.

now back to the non-grind with, perhaps, some letter-writing on the couch, squeezing out the last few minutes this weekend has to offer.

annie hall


true story. as i hopped into his car, he took one look at my hat and said those two words. annie hall. i’m sure there are other people who have worn the same kind of thing, but woody allen is way up his alley and, as a result, way up mine as well. this is a man who i admire greatly. he has served as mentor, confidante, boss and friend over the years and years we have known each other. he opened my eyes to classics like this long ago.

whether my hat matched hers or not (it didn’t really) i hadn’t even taken my coat off before i started downloading.

if you haven’t already seen it, do yourself a favour. it’s erratic, neurotic and endlessly funny.

quick fix ~ easy out


back around christmas time, i tweeted a plea for everyone to share with me their secrets for getting rid of dark circles under my eyes. in poured the recommendations from hydrating and avoiding sodium to using cold compresses and aromatherapy. that was a dream come true and exactly what i was looking for but i realized that i was exhibiting a symptom indicative of something i have come to absolutely despise about our culture. i was looking for the quick fix.

the photo that prompted the panic

i think i was born with dark circles. i can’t remember a time, even as far back as when i was a teenager, when they didn’t plague me. even though they come to me naturally, they are also accentuated with certain behaviours. while i filtered through all of the helpful advice, i had a niggling little feeling in the back of my mind that i wasn’t really getting to the bottom of it. essentially, i was in denial.

when i asked my naturopath about her thoughts when it comes to dark circles, she replied, “well, how much sleep do you get, carly?” oh, snap. there it was. i had no right to complain about what was ailing me because i was really not willing to take the first step towards curing it! my mind flooded with examples of antidepressants over therapy, liposuction over exercise, vitamins over eating whole foods. i was acting like one of those people.

i wish i could tell you that i’d solved my sleep riddle since then, but i haven’t. it is the one arena in which i have just never been able to take hold. like i say to people who balk at investing in healthy living, “what better way could there be to spend your money than on your health?” of myself, i need to ask “what better way to spend my time?”

when i first met kevin, i was doing my sleep experiment. the idea behind it was that i would sleep at every opportunity and set my alarm to go to bed at 9pm every night. (that provides me eight hours of sleep on a weekday.) i still have a little note he wrote me that said “this sleep experiment is messing with your mojo.” if by mojo, he meant ability to live through that dreamy, adrenaline-filled early stage of a new relationship, then he was right. it kind of was. the sleep experiment ground to a halt and la-la-love ensued. now that the honeymoon’s over (:P) one year later, it may be time to revisit the idea because something’s gotta give.

my dilemma lies in learning how to juggle all of the things that i want and need to do: office work, bellies work, pioneers work, il indoor, cook and eat healthy meals, move my body, blog, write, communicate with loved ones and have some fun. i’m not sure if efficiency is my issue or if i just suck at time management. i don’t really see that i am doing any more than most other people and they all seem to pull it off. is everybody out there as exhausted as i am or what?!?

as always, i give great credit to awareness. it’s a step in the right direction. as i push through and attempt to live nourish, this is definitely something that needs more focus. if you have any ideas, i’ll be here scratching my head and wondering how.

(for the record, i believe wholeheartedly in everything in its place. i’m not staunchly against the use of antidepressants, but i do question the widespread prescription. i believe that vitamins have their merit, i just don’t think they should be your only source of nourishment. lipo? i don’t really know where that fits is, but maybe someday i’ll get it.)

les oreilles


a woman i used to know once asked me, “what’s your best sense?” i thought it a great jump off for discussion, but it took very little thought to determine that, without question, my answer is my hearing. that kevin sometimes calls me scanners supports that. he also likens my ears to radar and said in an email this morning, “you can hear a conversation from 20 yards away.”

it’s true. i have keen ears. my hearing is sharp. not a lot gets by me even when i leave the room. sure, i can detect and identify a song in just a note or two when most people can’t hear any music at all, but on the flip side, the sound of a dripping tap at the far reaches of the apartment or the neighbours, uh, convening on the other side of the bathroom wall can wake (and keep) me up at night. as much as ambient noise can rattle me, i’ve always been strangely proud of my aural health.

my precious ears

though our hearing is closely monitored at my place of work, i’d managed to slip through the cracks for nearly five years. that came to an end this morning when, after two days of chasing one, i finally snagged an appointment in the mobile testing truck. thankfully, nothing had changed. literally. well, almost. one zero became a five in my left ear and the right ear results are identical. thankfully. my vision pretty much sucks, my taste and smell are iffy and, while i am rather sensitive to touch, it just isn’t nurtured by my short attention span. hearing’s the best i’ve got.

so, tell me, what’s your best sense?

oreilles is one of my favourite french words of all. fyi.

pay it forward


i never saw the film and i don’t really intend to. as much as i dig the prevailing idea, i’m pretty okay with the unknown and have a sneaking suspicion that i’d be happier with what, in my mind, it could be than i would be with what it actually is.

fab photo shamelessly borrowed from both the d*s* webpage & ashley’s and traced back to goodlife zen.

one of my favourite regular emails comes in the form of feedblitz updates from design*sponge. for ages they paid it forward to me every friday with their small measures with ashley column. going back in the archives to 2010, in the spirit of american thanksgiving that year, paying it forward was her topic of choice.

For me, paying kindness forward fosters the sort of balanced, nourished and enriched life I want to cultivate.

we all know i’ve been thinking a lot about healthfulness lately and sometimes it isn’t just about exercise, diet, supplements and sleep patterns, but also incorporating bigger and more universal principles. i’m guilty of zeroing in and not always looking at the whole picture. thanks to ashley english for the reminder.

back last summer, i had an idea to do at least one thing for one person every day. i’m not sure that i’ve done a great job of living up to that so i’m starting over.

here’s a list of ashely’s ideas: “They are small, simple, easy gestures, none requiring a large expenditure of time or money.”

1. Buy the coffee for the person in line behind you at the drive-thru.
2. Pay the fare for the car behind you at the toll booth.
3. Pay the entrance fee for the car behind you at a beach or park.
4. Swipe your Metrocard for the person behind you at the turnstile.
5. Buy the movie ticket for the person behind you in line (at a matinee!).
6. Offer your seat on the subway or bus to a senior, pregnant woman or person with special needs.
7. Help a mother (or father) with an infant or toddler put groceries in her (or his) car.
8. Leave gathered wildflowers on the windshield of your neighbour’s car.
9. Scrape the ice off the windows of other cars on your street.
10. Help someone with a flat tire or impaired vehicle (even if only to offer use of your cell phone, should they lack one).
11. Write a letter of praise to the manager of a store detailing the outstanding service you received from one of their employees.
12. Compliment someone’s smile, eyes, hair, outfit, shoes, etc. (This is one of my MOST favorite things to do!)
13. Allow someone with fewer items to get ahead of you in the check-out line.
14. Let the driver with their turn signal on pull out in front of you.
15. Donate blood.

read the whole post then tell me, how do you pay it forward??