careless

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nearly two months back, i lamented that i wasn’t being as mindful as i’d like to be. sadly, today i report to you an incident that clearly shows a total lack of progress on my part.

so. i decided to make the best of the stuff i had in the pantry tonight (truth: i just didn’t want to go to the grocery store) and announced that we’d be having pea soup for supper. the look of sheer disgust on kevin’s face tipped me off to take some chicken soup out of the freezer before we left for today’s adventure…the pool! once we got back from our little swim, i whipped up my super easy soup** and readied his for reheating. no matter how much of the anti-wheat push i ran through my head, i just couldn’t dismiss the need to have something carby to go with dinner. you know…crackers, buns…something. i gave in and a quick flip through my cookbooks found me a recipe for vegan baking powder biscuits. not a perfect match, but i knew they’d do. they smelled amazing as they baked and were the first thing to hit the dinner table.

what i am about to tell you is a testament to kevin’s very sweet and easy going nature that i have mentioned on several occasions.

as he sat waiting for his main course and with the hot biscuits on the table in front of him, he took the little pat of really butter i’d set out for him and slathered one up. as i served up his bowl of soup, i asked about the biscuits. “pretty good,” he replied, less than wholeheartedly. “that sounds more like they’re just okay than actually any good.” “yeah, they’re okay.”

once everything was in order, i was able to sit down at the table (one thing i have insisted become regular practice around here now that the new year is upon us: meals exclusively in the kitchen, without distraction (read: tv) from the other room.) our conversation carried on as i took what I was convinced was my mealtime masterpiece (i was iffy on the soup at that point) and used my vegan margarine to dress it up. unlike kevin, i couldn’t even fake my way through one bite.

“these are awful!” I exclaimed. “they aren’t awful, they just taste like a lot of baking soda.” (how he could identify it as baking soda, i have no idea. as far as i’ve seen his cooking repertoire is based on only three ingredients: eggs, salsa and frozen potatoes.)

yes, my precious oregano flecked baking powder biscuits contained baking soda as a substitute and three tablespoons of it instead of the three teaspoons that were called for. and that was after i double-checked the recipe.

and, folks, they were awful. he told me afterwards that he’d readied himself to choke them down if he needed to. can you imagine?? he won’t touch a spoonful of pea soup, but he’ll power through two disgusting lumps of excessive soda bread. when i asked why he didn’t tell me they were bad to begin with, “i didn’t want to hurt your feelings.”

we laughed about it, loud and a lot, but deep down, it really does irk me. i wonder how i can be so careless and it disappoints me that i can make mistakes like that. back to the mindfulness drawing board, i guess. if i can even find my way there…

*.*.*

the other day, my friend connie sent this image directed at me.

sadly, it’s ridiculously appropriate. i got distracted from writing this post and found myself peeling pomegranates for tomorrow’s lunch instead. lord, help me.

*.*.*

**that soup was very quick and easy, but it also required some winging it. the bare bones version is very bland so i had to adapt it with some additions of my own. if you don’t know what you like and how you like it when it comes to soup, i’d suggest you find a recipe that involves a few more ingredients.

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One response »

  1. Oh boy! 3 tablespoons? What a champ! I would have probably done the same thing as you though, double checked and then still put in tablespoons. And then I would have been pissed too. Damn, that does suck. But yes, at least he didn’t take a bite and exclaim to the high heavens, “These are horrible!” I think that would have stung a bit.

    I find myself getting more and more distracted lately, something which I’ve never had an issue with before. I think one of the things that you may work into nourishing this year is the ability to ‘nourish the focus’ that you long to achieve. Just an idea. 🙂

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