so, the other morning, i had this revelation. as i looked in the mirror on my way out the door to work, i didn’t pinpoint one single distinctive feminine feature looking back.
fact is, i’m pretty low maintenance. i can’t even provide a suggestion for how i could become lower maintenance. (kevin may be able to jump in here and help. he gets to see my big drama moments. 😛 ) my clothes are all wash and wear, my hair’s pretty much the same. though i own more, i use a single purse and my shoe collection is realistically limited to about five pair now that the weather’s turned cold. i know how to put on make-up (because amy taught me…3.5 years ago,) but i almost never do it and certainly not on a work morning. i can hardly remember to use moisturizer regularly! i prefer my nails cut as short as possible and never paint them. i throw on a necklace or two and maybe some earrings, but that’s the extent of my regime. i am a get up and go kind of girl. i get about three haircuts a year and only have my eyebrows waxed when the overabundance has exceeded even my disinterested tolerance. though i like looking good, i don’t place a lot of importance on looks.
when i was in paris, i learned what femininity is. my friend michèle was the one who took me under her wing and taught me. she loved things frilly and flowery and frowned on any kind of body piercing or tattoo. it was on that trip when i got rid of my bellybutton and tongue hardware. they didn’t go because she told me they should, but because i agreed with her argument that they are not very soft. ladylike is such an antiquated idea, but that doesn’t make it any less appealing for me. i like it. as i mentioned earlier, however, i’ve lost it. gone are the scarves and baubles that i stocked up on and adorned myself with at the end of that trip and for the months that followed. not only are they physically history, but, sadly, they haven’t been replaced. i’ve become careless with my looks. some that’s due to time constraints vs. priorities (read: i’d rather sleep longer than spend time getting ready.) on the other hand, i have nothing but laziness to blame. t-shirts and hoodies, jeans and yoga pants just don’t cut it. not in my books, anyway. well, okay. they do. just not all the time.
my feeling, standing there the other morning, was one of dissatisfaction and disappointment. i don’t believe that how you look reflects too much about who you are (some decent looking people are disastrous assholes inside and some dirtbags on the outside have beautiful and gentle personalities once you get to know them.) the thing was, i didn’t look my best. that was the problem.
when something happens that makes us unhappy, there is really only one responsible option: change.
so, for the past four days, i’ve gotten up, done the make-up thing, even blown my hair dry (okay, i didn’t do that all days, but i did turn the thing on!) and taken great care in dressing. i’ve chosen skirts and tights and dresses and lacy things and colours instead of greys and blacks. (what i have of it, at least!) it feels good. it’s nice to look in the mirror and see the woman in me shining through. what a relief to have her back.
And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.
~paulo coehlo from the alchemist
ask and you shall receive, they say. when i thought of the topic for my last post, i thought of my many friends who are put together and have a funky style. that night, plans were (finally!) secured for me to spend some much needed time with my girl, ingrid. we met after our mutual reputations preceded us and we finally connected at my much loved cousin kevin’s wedding just over a year ago. we were fast friends, but we just haven’t had a ton of opportunity to spend time. our date was greatly anticipated some because we hadn’t seen each other in a while, some because we were venturing to an exciting place we’d never tried for lunch.
through the torrential rain i made the commute just to see ingrid’s shining little face spread light through the clouds where we met on the sidewalk on commercial. she is a real beauty and she carries such a super awesome vibe with her. she’s got purple hair, funky jewelry, the cutest voice and warmest nature. she has always, always, always got it together, all done up and stuff. inspiration!
what a relief to talk to her about it and hear some understanding and common feeling come back! among other things, we talked girlie equipment: dresses and make-up and things of that sort. and amid all that friendship, we also talked food.
my girl does web and graphic design
and her work’s definitely worth checking out