true story. i just thought it. if you know me at all, you know that, generally, as a rule, if i think it, i’m going to make it happen. so, yeah… as jen quickly pointed out, it wasn’t really as free and easy as i’d pictured it. her recipe takes three days. mine ended up taking about five hours. though that didn’t include the time it took me to put together a recipe or the week it took me to get around to writing it out and sharing.
i wasn’t intending to make this a vegan product. in fact, the list of contributing ingredients that i drew up in my mind did include eggs. however, on a whim, i thought i’d google vegan versions. i considered those, compared them to the others and meshed them together to get the general guideline that follows…in this case, do not let the vegan label lead you to believe that the end product is in any way healthy. abandon that idea right now.
also, please keep in mind, this is far from a perfected recipe. i’ve done it once. that one time, though, its results were damn good!
step one: combine 4 teaspoons of active dry yeast with 1 teaspoon of sugar and a cup of warm water. mix and set it aside.
step two: heat up 1 cup of soy milk, 2/3 cup of sugar, 2/3 cup margarine, 2 teaspoons of salt in a pan. once the margarine has melted and everything is mixed up and warm, you can add the yeast mixture.
step three: pour the wet mixture into a bowl that contains 4 cups of flour. mix it up and mix it up some more. it’ll be pretty liquidy. until you add 2 more cups of flour, that is. mix a little more, then give up hope that it’ll look smooth in the bowl.
step four: knead it.
on a side note: where do people learn how to knead? i know the only guidance i had was from tv and movies. seriously, is there a right way or a wrong way? i kinda just wing it whenever i need to.
step five: put that dough to rest in an oiled bowl. cover it up and let it rise for about an hour and a half.
step six: while the dough is rising, mix up 1.5 cups of sugar and 3 tablespoons of cinnamon in a bowl.
step seven: lay the dough out on a floured surface, a pastry mat, if you have one (which i do not. santa, if you’re reading…i’ve been a good girl.) roll it and stretch it out into a rectangle big enough to roll up into your finished product.
step eight: melt up some more margarine, about a half a cup. pour it onto the dough and spread it around.
step nine: sprinkle the buttery dough with the cinnamon mix.
step ten: starting at one end, roll the dough up into a log.
step eleven: it’s time to cut that log into pieces. a lot of recipes i read recommended using dental floss or thread to do it, but i opted for a regular old knife. while it did misshape the buns somewhat, it was just waaay easier for me. do what suits you. i ended up with eight buns, but when kevin peeked at them before they’d even risen again, he exclaimed, “those things are massive!” if you cuts yours thinner, you can probably get more and more reasonably sized.
step twelve: melt another half cup of margarine and pour it into a large baking pan (i used a really big dish. one big enough to cook a turkey.) sprinkle another half cup of sugar in there as well.
step thirteen: place the buns in the pan, cover it up and let them rise for about an hour. towards the end of that time, preheat the oven to 350 degrees.
step fourteen: once the buns are ready to go, throw them in the oven.
step fifteen: while the buns are cooking, work on the icing. measure two cups of icing sugar into a bowl. add 3 tablespoons of almond milk (or other milk alternative) and one teaspoon of vanilla. mix and mix and mix until smooth.
step sixteen: after the buns have been in the oven for about 45 minutes the margarine and sugar mixture that’s lining the pan will be hot and bubbly.
hint: remove one bun and check the inside to make sure that it is cooked through. they may need a little longer in the oven.
step seventeen: let the buns to cool a little. cut one out of the pan and smear it with a good dose of the icing. i also drizzled it with some of the sweet, buttery pan juices, too.
step eighteen: enjoy.
warning: it’ll be so sweet that you may actually think of vomiting. don’t worry, you’ll keep eating it, anyway. 😉