lightening up

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i’m sloppy in a lot of ways, but this, writing, is where my inner perfectionist rears her head. i’ve always been this way. i have started countless diaries, ever since i could pick up a pencil and write. after a few entries into each and every one, somehow, something seems less than ideal and whether it the look of my compositions or the sound of them, into the trash they go. for those of you who’ve stuck around for a while, you’ve seen me do the same thing with blogs. i choose an address, create an idea in my mind, imagine how it will enrich my life and dive in. when the neglect begins to outweigh the posting, into the virtual bin goes the blog because, for some reason, i’d rather delete than revive. until i start another one.

one thing i’ve realized about my blogging is that without a solid topic i just can’t get into the groove and produce a post. when i don’t have a specific topic to write about, i’ll ramble for a while with ideas dancing in and out of my head, but i usually end up deleting. why? all because i didn’t have a decisive point. and, seriously? since when did blogging require direction?

i start. i stop. then i start again. in the meantime, i beat myself up about what i write and how i write it. at some point the analysis of my work overshadows the enjoyment and i take a little break. i love blogging. i know it because i’ve done it. but, what happened to the days when i could put together at least one post every day with hardly any effort, the days when the ideas flowed freely and straight into words? sigh.

thing is, i refuse to throw in the towel. no way, jose. i’ve long believed that practice makes perfect,  meaning that if i start and keep at it, i can develop the habit i desire. and we’re about to find out.

have you heard of nablopomo? well, now you have. it all starts november 1st and as the nablopomo philosophy states:

post something every day for a month.
that’s all you have to do.

well, that and (in my case) learn how to lighten up about it. for crying out loud, it’s just a blog.

i have friends with whom i wax nostalgic about the good old blogging days and i’d venture to call this a perfect opportunity for the lot of us. so, who’s with me? girl on the side? victory lane? and might this be the ultimate comeback for a certain lady of chris & evey fame?

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3 responses »

  1. I, like you, dislike posting anything unless I have a solid idea in my head and can formulate a proper arc for it to follow. Unfortunately, this also causes me to post less and less the busier I get, because i simply don’t have the time to formulate the “proper” entry as I’d like.

    But…that all being said, I probably need to loosen up a bit and just *post* and let the chips fall where they may. Sometimes I’m a bit too concerned with how I come off vs. just…writing things out.

    So…I might be in for it. Could certainly try and go from there, right?

  2. As I was reading, I thought, “I should do that,” and sure enough, you called me out.

    I’m still trying to find my ‘groove’ or whatever it is I’m trying to do with my blog, but like you said, “it’s just a blog.” I need to just ignore that critical voice in my head and just write.

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