giving good phone


i’m a little embarrassed to admit (sorry, laur, but you know i adore you!) that i read kelly cutrone’s book if you have to cry, go outside long enough to find the one paragraph that resonated with me. unfortunately, it was way at the very end of the book.

I fear our modern loss of human contact. We’re addicted to devices and programs that make us feel like we’re connecting when in fact we’re just becoming more and more isolated and more and more silent. We use Facebook, texting, and email as substitutes for actual human contact; we even call each other’s voice mails to avoid actually speaking to each other! And as we get more and more used to electronic means of communication, our senses receive less and less stimulation and our interactions are stripped of their humanness. Our tribes dissolve even further. I believe this has made us more neurotic and more violent and even more depressed.

i go through periods when i think about stuff like this. i once read that the majority of americans (and i take this to mean north americans – what’s the difference?) go through their days without touching or being touched by another person. years later, that still haunts me. knowing the benefits of contact, it makes me sad for those for whom this is a reality. i also take mental note of the people who make physical contact with others and how they do it. i try to make an effort to bring touch into the lives around me.

the phone is one thing i am terrible at. talking on it, at least. texting, yes. facebook, yes. twitter, yes. any form of messaging other than actually talking, i have mastered. when it comes to real phone calls, a glance at my call history will show the reality. when it comes to the phone, i only really talk to kevin and my folks. even my bestie and i only talk on the phone a few times a year!

as a typical teenage girl, the phone was a staple of my life. my parents made the standard complaints about it being stuck to my ear and threatened to remove said attachment if my behaviour strayed from anything but acceptable. i can’t tell you when that dropped off and the real function of the phone died for me, but the passage from that cutrone book struck me. i do rely heavily on electronic communication and i have let some of my relationships slip as a result. that ain’t cool!

so, these days, when i’m thinking of hitting send on a text or composing an @ reply via twitter, i try to stop myself and think “could i make a phone call right now and enjoy this interaction even more?” sometimes i even find that the answer is yes!

do people still talk on the phone? do you??

…i’m reaching for the phone
to call the seven-oh-three
and on your machine i slur a plea
for you to come ho-o-ome…

i’m not sure that would feel or sound the same, had the message been sent by text or dm. 😛


talk to me

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